I took a Royal Moroccan flight recently. It might not have been good for relaxation and zoning out, but it did get me from point A to point B. My luggage included. Most of all, in a spiritual sense, it taught me how patient I have become and where I can still use improvements.
If you want this experience, too, fly Royal Air Moroccan!
• Walking into a security booth for women--since the connection was Casablanca, which is Muslim--and finding a dollar on the floor, picking it up (like one would a lucky penny as that is about its worth) and being shamed and shamed by the security guard for stealing. Asking said security guard if she was going to keep it. Realizing she didn't speak English and that I could tell her matter of factly to piss off as she kept repeating and repeating something in Arabic and waving her finger at you in a bafflingly patronizing way--making it easy to write it off as a strange dream.
• Unattended children, who become yours on long-haul flights. If you are upgraded, they become, almost completely, your responsibility as air staff turn a blind eye. Said children sitting next to you and elbowing you and demanding parental care in another language for a minimum of five hours cumulatively on overseas flights.
• Air hosts/hostesses who have developed unparalleled resistance to doing anything beyond the absolute minimum.
• Flights with a minimum 150-children-on-board requirement.
• Inedible food, with all beverages, except water, containing added sugar.
• A strong, seemingly corporate-level resistance to serving water.
• Call to prayer blasting whether you walk that exact path of faith or not.
• Wonky policy about connection luggage so one of your bags may come on an earlier flight causing totally unnecessary stress, relieved miraculously when your guardian angel guides you to just the right JFK staff having a conversation that you rudely interrupt ... to find out "oh--yeah remember that bag this morning?!" Within moments your worldly belongings appear!
• I don't know how I got upgraded to all of these perks but holy shit--jackpot!!
Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to say, the only stress I showed yesterday was some nuh-uh resistance as the lady shamed me and a few private-as-possible tears as I knelt at the baggage carousel, chanting the Ganapati mantra under my breath, before deciding my belongings didn't matter so much ...
Thank you Royal Air Moroccan, for showing me what I am made of. I will not need to take this test voluntarily again so I wish everyone the best in running through it in the future!