Have you ever been in a situation where you felt completely misunderstood and could have said something but didn’t? In this time of so many social media outlets, likes, e-mails, and countless other ways to achieve instant external justification, this is becoming more of a rarity.
Still, we need boundaries. A place where others' opinion of us ends and ours begins. A place where we trust ourselves, first. From here, we can relax more in our own understanding and trust others to be just as they are as well. First we have to set it all up.
Do you want to be the victim of a boundary or the master of it?
Because it is possible to be the later. To just stop. To just be quiet. Even if you could say so many things. So many thousand things that would be so right.
Here is a practice for those who are like me—skilled with words, able to frame feelings in a single bound, expressive, brave, sometimes indignant.
Hold it. Just hold it. Watch it. Don’t give it to them. Hold it. Watch it move, change shapes. Keep holding it and challenge yourself, to keep it to yourself.
See what happens, when you confide in yourself instead of trusting someone else to put a value on your feelings, your words, your life. Because few people will measure up to how much value you put on them. And those people often don’t need you to explain beyond a look or a gut-feeling statement.